What to Do When Your Wife Won’t Go Sailing

So you love the water, but your wife just says no way when you mention setting sail? Fear not, fellow captain. You’re not alone – many boat owners face this dilemma: one spouse hooked on the sea, the other firmly on land. Whether she’s worried about seasickness, not into boating, or just has other interests, this doesn’t have to be a shipwreck for your weekend plans. With the right approach – a dash of charm, creativity, and humor – you can turn that stubborn first mate into an eager crewmember… or at least enjoy your solo sails guilt-free.

Our guide is split into two parts: Part 1 explores clever (and fun) ways to get her on board, and Part 2 covers how to enjoy your boat with or without her. So, tie up the stern lines, check the weather (she definitely won’t come out if it’s blowy), and let’s chart a course. Avast, and away we go!

Part 1: Getting Her on Board

Every sailor knows that a mutinous crewmember can sink even the sturdiest ship – and in this case, that mutinous crewmember is your wife. But before you hoist the black flag, remember: the goal is to make her excited about sailing, not to start a marital storm. Here are some playful, tested ideas to gently (and humorously) coax your beloved onto the boat:

• Dockside Social Scene: Turn a boat outing into a mini party. Choose a popular marina or harbor festival where she can mingle and meet new people. Fresh air, deck chairs, and friendly boater banter can be surprisingly inviting. Let her see the social side: maybe there’s live music dockside or free hors d’oeuvres on the beach. Making her feel like the “belle of the marina” is an ego boost – and hey, who can resist a free glass of wine while overlooking the water? Just don’t monopolize the conversation with wind speeds and sail trim.
• Dinner and Dancing on Deck: Suggest an evening cruise to a nice waterfront restaurant or even dinner aboard. Start with a gentle sunset sail, playing her favorite tunes, then dock for a romantic dinner. If your boat has space, set up a candlelit table for two – and maybe a little portable lantern or string lights. After eating, pop open a dessert champagne and challenge her to a slow dance on deck. The combination of good food, gentle waves, and romantic ambiance could have her saying, “Wow, this sailing thing is kind of fun!”
• Girl’s Day Afloat: Peer pressure in a good way can work wonders. Invite a couple of her friends or family members along for a “girls’ day” on the water. Plan something fun: maybe a “Champagne Brunch Cruise” or a pool-noodle party where everyone floats in the bay. Tell her to grab their silliest sun hats and cameras – transform it into an impromptu photo shoot. When she sees her friends laughing on deck, her FOMO will kick in, and suddenly sailing feels more like a girls’ outing than a chore.
• Pick a Theme or Event: Who doesn’t love a theme? Plan a themed boat trip around something she adores. It could be a “Tropical Luau Sail” with Hawaiian shirts, leis, and tiki cocktails. Or a “Wine & Cheese Voyage,” where you sail to a quiet anchorage and sample artisanal cheeses and her favorite wines. Maybe even a “Movie Night Under the Stars” – bring a laptop or mini projector, set up a blanket on deck, and watch a rom-com as the sun sets. The idea is to connect sailing with something she loves, so much that she forgets she’s even on a boat.
• Admiral for a Day: Give her the wheel – literally. Announce, “Today you’re the Captain of this ship.” Let her raise the sail, steer the course, or shout a few orders at you (“Port side, deck hand!”). Hand over a goofy captain’s hat or a colorful bandanna for maximum effect. Empowering her to make decisions on the boat makes it her personal adventure, not yours. She’ll likely laugh, roll her eyes, and secretly enjoy feeling like the Queen of the seas. And afterwards, salute her like royalty – a little playful flattery goes a long way.
• Boat Picnic Photo Shoot: Plan a surprise picnic on the water at a scenic spot. Pack a basket with all her favorites: gourmet sandwiches, fresh fruits, pastries, even a little bubbly if she’s up for it. Spread a cozy blanket on deck and string some fairy lights (if you stay past sunset). Then grab your camera or smartphone and stage an impromptu photo session: take some goofy selfies and some deliberately “glamorous” shots with the sunset. This turns the outing into a romantic mini-adventure, not just “another sail.” Plus, she’ll love the cute couple-at-sunset photos to share (who can resist posting that cute “couple-at-sunset” shot?).
• Slow Start and Soft Seas: Sail with common sense. Don’t spring a week-long offshore trip on her out of the blue. Begin with short, calm cruises on sunny days. Pick a tranquil lake or sheltered bay with zero chop. Make everything super comfy: bring extra cushions and blankets, set up a sunshade or canopy, and pack ginger snaps or seasickness bands just in case. Show her that the boat can be smooth and serene – nothing like a tropical drink on a calm lagoon to change her mind about “bobbing in rough water.” A little patience and a gentle sea state can do wonders.
• Include Her Interests: Cater the trip to her hobbies. If she loves music, create a playlist of her favorite songs for the voyage. If she enjoys painting, bring watercolor supplies and paint the harbor scene together. Is she a birdwatcher? Park near a bird sanctuary. Loves reading? Anchor in a quiet cove so she can catch up with a novel. By customizing the experience, the boat becomes the venue for her fun, not the obstacle. She’ll start seeing sailing as just one more setting for doing what she loves.
• Plan a Reward: Always end with dessert. Promise her something delightful after the sail so she’s not left thinking, “Great, more work.” It could be a stop at her favorite ice cream shop on the way home, or a booking for a spa treatment that evening (“You relax on land, I’ll bring you back a souvenir sea-shell massage!”). Even little things – like a freshly grilled burger off the boat’s BBQ while anchored – can make a difference. When she associates boating with sweet rewards (literal or figurative), she’ll be more likely to hop aboard next time.

Each of these ideas is meant to be light and generous, not manipulative. The point is to highlight the fun and romance of being on the water while respecting her comfort. Sometimes even simple gestures – showing patience, dressing warmly for her, bringing extra blankets – speak louder than “just get on the boat.” There’s no single formula for every couple, but mixing and matching these tactics can turn your co-captain from “meh” to “let’s go!” one nautical mile at a time.

Part 2: Enjoying the Boat Without Her

So she still declares, “I’ll pass!” after all that? Hey, that’s okay – being married doesn’t mean you have to share every hobby. A happy partner on land and one on sea can actually make for a very harmonious marriage. If she’s truly content staying ashore, here are some ways to make both of you happy: how you can have a blast on the boat solo (or with friends), and fun ideas your wife can enjoy while you’re away on your adventure.

• Solo Sail Therapy: Take advantage of the solitude. Pack a thermos of coffee, a good book or podcast, and sail to a quiet cove. The gentle rocking and ocean breeze can be downright meditative. Use this time to reflect, daydream, or catch up on your favorite audiobook. (Yes, and maybe sing along off-key if the sails are up – the seagulls make excellent backup dancers.) Just be safe: let someone know your route, and sail at a leisurely pace. The goal is peace and quiet, not breaking any speed records.
• Boat Project Day: Use her absence as an excuse to tinker without guilt. Did she complain about the seat cushions? Reupholster them in her favorite color (you’ll earn brownie points when she sees them). Upgrade the stereo system and blast her top hits (from anchor, of course). Give the hull a polish or install new LED deck lights. Clean the engine bay, fix that leaking faucet, or finally replace the broken compass. When she next admires the shiny boat, you’ll earn bragging rights as the handy hero. (And if you “accidentally” drop a paintbrush overboard, claim you were testing anchor depth – the boat looks just fine, right?)
• Fishing or Floating: Bring a fishing rod for some peaceful angling. Even if she thinks bait is gross, you might find it relaxing to drop anchor and wait for a tug. Or skip the rod and just try floating in a hammock chair or cushion on deck for an afternoon nap. The boat becomes your personal floating zen garden. If you do catch fish, great – cook them up for lunch. If not, hey, at least you got a nap with a breeze.
• Creative Cruise: Turn your boat into a mobile studio or retreat. Bring a journal and write that novel or blog you’ve been talking about. Strum a guitar or practice scales – serenade the waves. Fly a drone for aerial photos of the harbor, or do some stargazing at anchor (download a star app and become an amateur astronomer). You might discover new inspiration away from home’s distractions. Who knows – an afternoon of watercolor painting on deck might spark a hidden artistic streak (or at least make for an interesting Facebook post when you brag about your “exploration”).
• Buddy Boating: If solo sounds lonely, invite a friend or two. Plan a “buddy cruise” where each person takes a turn at the helm and shares the chores. Turn it into a mini-regatta: see who ties the neatest knot, who catches dinner first, or who can keep the boat cleanest (hint: maybe that one’s you!). Keep it lighthearted: one person mans the grill, another handles navigation, the third is the official snacks manager. Laughter and camaraderie are guaranteed. Plus, with a pal aboard, you have someone to swap captain jokes with (and to politely remind you not to leave goggles in the freezer again).
• Overnight Adventure: Take it up a notch with an overnight trip. Anchor in a sheltered bay and sleep on the boat under the stars. Make sure your anchor is really secure, bring warm blankets, and maybe a novel flashlight handy. Waking up at dawn to a sunrise on the water can be magical. Cook breakfast on the stove or grill as the mist lifts. It’s the kind of experience you’ll remember and love telling stories about back home (“Remember when I woke up to dolphins playing bow-wave?”).
• Project & Play Day: Use the boat for personal enjoyment. Install that new stereo you bought, then actually use it. Roast marshmallows on the stern grill and maybe allow yourself one sticky s’more. Practice docking in challenging spots just for the fun of it (safely!). Test out new gear – that high-tech fish finder or that weird gadget from your Amazon cart – to see what it really does. Think of the boat as your personal playground to use as you wish.

Meanwhile, back on shore, your wife can treat this like her own mini-vacation. Encourage her to use this time for something she loves. Here are some balanced ideas to keep her happy while you’re captain of the seas:

• Spa or Self-Care Day: A day of pampering can be bliss. Encourage her to book a massage, enjoy a long bath, or even just sleep in – guilt-free! You could surprise her with a little gift basket of bath salts, a fluffy robe, and some chocolates, with a note: “Enjoy this me-time. I’ll save you some sunshine for when I return.”
• Girls’ Outing: Maybe she’ll gather her friends for a special outing. They could brunch at her favorite café, hit the shops, or watch a movie. A ‘girls just wanna have fun’ afternoon while you’re out sailing sounds like a fair trade. Tell her to go wild – get that pedicure, listen to trashy TV, dance in the kitchen – she’s earned it for tolerating your weekend hobby.
• Try Something New: Suggest she use this free time to pick up a new skill or hobby she’s been curious about. That cooking class, painting workshop, or yoga session she’s mentioned? Now’s the perfect moment. This way, she feels enriched (and later you get to enjoy her new signature dish or a funny dance move). You’ll both come back with stories: hers about the chili-pepper challenge in cooking class, yours about the one that got away from your fishing line.
• Hobby Time: Encourage her to dive into an existing passion. Maybe she’s been wanting to binge the whole season of a TV show you hate – now’s her chance with the remote all to herself. Or she can finally finish that novel or knitting project that’s been on her nightstand. The living room TV is hers, the kitchen is hers to experiment in. When you sail back, you’ll have tales of rigging lines – and she’ll have baked goods or artwork to show for the weekend.
• Home Projects (Voluntary!): If she has home or garden projects that excite her, she can tackle them now. Maybe rearranging the furniture, planting new flowers, or organizing a closet has been on her to-do list. Suggest framing it as “You finally have time to do all the fun renovations!” Even better, turn it into teamwork: send her a playful text, “Need backup in the garage? Call me when I anchor back!” – so she knows you’re rooting for her.
• Relax and Rejuvenate: Sometimes the simplest luxury is doing nothing. She might sleep in, binge-watch a guilty-pleasure movie, bake that dessert you can’t stand (and maybe bring you a slice), or take the dog (or kids) to the park. Encourage her to relish the R&R. It’s one-on-one me-time that, after your new adventures, you can swap notes and recharge together the next week.

In the end, compromise is key. Remember, not every adventure has to be shared to bring happiness. Personal interests and a little “me time” are healthy for any relationship. Use this time apart to appreciate each other more. When you return from a great sail, bring back souvenirs – seashells, photos, or at least funny stories – and show genuine interest in hearing about her weekend too. After all, marriage is its own voyage, with calm seas and rough waters alike. Keep a sense of humor (and maybe a spare chocolate bar for emergencies), and you’ll both stay happily afloat – together on the same course.